As a child, I would look at Mama and marvel at her beauty. She had deep brown eyes, a smooth skin and a gorgeous smile. She carried herself with elegance and always adorned herself with bracelets and necklaces she made. It was my dream to grow up and look like her.
I was about 10 years old when one of my wildest dreams came true. My father, a typical African traditional man; the kind that never gives compliments because they think they could spoil a child unwittingly made it happen. He looked at me and did a double take, then, shockingly, he audibly said “you are absolutely a spitting image of your mother.” I had just heard the words any little girl would like to hear. The excitement on my face made him realize that a compliment had gone out and it was too late to take it back. My life was complete! I looked like this woman I admired and loved! I could not contain my joy. It is still the best compliment I have ever heard.
The words uttered by my father resulted in my obsession with physical beauty. As a teenager, I started wearing heavy makeup and experimenting with different types of clothing that often got a disapproving look from my mother. We constantly disagreed on my choice of clothes, hairstyles and make up. Tight dresses that brought out my physique were too unacceptable for her, and a tank
top I liked was too revealing. My sudden obsession with vanity worried Mama.
She slowly started teaching me her definition of beauty. The dictionary describes beauty as “a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that please the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.” This is not how Mama defined beauty. Growing up, I saw her modeling what true beauty is, not just in words but in the way she carried herself. Mama cared more about inner beauty; qualities such as wisdom, grace, and integrity. Her physical beauty was like icing on the cake. She emulated these characteristics wonderfully.
Mama taught me about inner beauty, and being bigger on the inside
than on the outside. These are the characteristics that make a person beautiful
long after the physical beauty has faded. I didn't get it then, but I finally got her
message loud and clear when I grew up!
Every character trait she taught me, I could see it in her.
She spoke about integrity and what it meant to be a person of honor, a
person that people could trust. People trusted Mama with their problems,
and believed that she would help them.
She taught me about wisdom. My mother constantly sought knowledge
from the Bible, and from the people around her. She was someone that
always had wise advice to give, advice that was rooted in God’s Word.
She cherished hard work and constantly sought to hone new skills. She
taught herself how to care for the sick, how to tend to cows, how to knit, how to run a restaurant. She was constantly on the lookout for new innovative ways to provide for her family and those around her.
She taught me the importance of Grace and extending mercy to others.
I am still as happy as I was the day my father pointed out that I was as beautiful as Mama, but I am more grateful for the lessons she instilled in me about inner beauty. I am honored that she saw fit that I would be the one to carry on this legacy.
I will emulate her in my thirst for Godly wisdom that I can pass on to anyone that approaches me. I will strive to carry myself with grace and integrity, and continue to use my life to make a difference in my sphere of influence.
Her message to the world today and to anyone reading this blog would be “ Be bigger on the inside than you are on the outside”.
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