I remember trembling with fear as I anticipated going home after school had let out. At that time, I was in elementary school and I had done something that my Mama had told me not to do over and over again; somewhere along the way, I had lost a pencil during my lessons that day. It was not even a full pencil! Mama had always asked me to be responsible with my school supplies, so I kept it a secret that I had no pencil. The next morning, I knew that I could not go to school without a pencil. Knowing this, I fearfully, approached her with my head hung low and confessed, “Mama, I lost the pencil you gave me yesterday”. Without any anger or rebuke, she turned and pulled out the other half of the pencil. I took it with relief and skipped happily to school. Mama knew and accepted me so well that she had anticipated my specific need despite having 14 other children.
Growing up at home, Mama was usually busy with one business or the other, looking for ways to provide, and trying to make ends meet. Not only were we many children, but we were living in a foreign nation as refugees. Consequently, life was not that simple for us. At times, we would walk from school to the marketplace where she had been selling some of her goods and would walk home together after waiting for her to conclude her day’s work. Mama was busy on occasion, but somehow, she was always present and right there whenever we needed her. Having Mama as our Mother, was a gift straight from heaven. We would sing together, talk freely about boys and life in general, join in on her ever-present splurge of laughter, and talk about what it means to be real women. Mama taught me many principles that stuck with me even when I went away from home to boarding school. Some of these principles had to do with prayer, womanhood, marriage, nurturing, compassion and discipline.
Mama taught me how to pray. It was never her concern whether you were in the mood to pray or not; you had to pray, especially before going to sleep. Often, she insisted on reading the Word of God and praying constantly. Eventually, I grew up, got married, and had children of my own. Nevertheless, she would still call me and all my siblings to go to her house so that we could pray together. Not only did she encourage us to pray, but she also prayed for us. Mama always interceded on our behalf and I know that her prayers have taken me a long way. Her prayers have shaped me to this day and can now see how my prayers are similarly directing my children’s paths today. I know that this is something they will pass on to their own families, their children, and their children’s children to the fourth generation. That’s what my Bible tells me and I believe it.
Another important value she taught us is that we were to protect ourselves from boys at all times. She would say that boys had many lies and we should be wise enough not to fall for them. This stayed with me and when I left home, it protected me from falling into the traps that all my other friends seemed to be falling into. Some of the things I did were just out of obedience even when it made zero sense to me because of the conviction she spoke with. It is now that I know how right she always was. My Mama played a big role in the process of picking my husband. She would pray so hard and follow up in conversations with me as early as when we were still just dating. She taught me to always love and respect my husband. Growing up at home, I consistently noticed that Papa had a special place. Mama treated him like a king and from this I learned to honor my father as well. This was a virtue I carried on into my own marriage.
Perhaps the greatest lessons I learned from Mama was the power of a present mother. This godly lady had a love for her grandchildren and they were more than just a few, It was unmatched! The day I had my first child, I had not the slightest idea how to bathe a baby. But I should not have worried because she was there from day one, bathing her, showing me how to feed her, teaching me to be patient with her when she got fussy. Even after my education, I got a good job and enjoyed what I did. However, as my babies started coming one by one, I had this picture in the back of my mind of Mama being there when I was younger. I would remember coming home from a long day at school and finding her at home. This image of her presence was always there and overtime, I started coming home from work in the evening and feeling like I was misplaced. That was not where I was supposed to spend the greater part of my day. When my husband noticed this, he proposed that I pause working away from home so that our children could get access to me at all times just like Mama was accessible to me. We prayed about it and by the third pregnancy, I had made my decision. Almost instantly, a five-month opportunity opened up for me where I could work from home until my baby was born. Not long after, I got another consultancy job that lasted five years.
All the while, the work I did from home provided significantly more remuneration than any I had done outside of home. This was in spite of working fewer hours than I previously had. Not long after, we decided to home-school our four girls. Despite the stigma around it, we managed and succeeded. Thankfully, God opened the minds of more families, which was an answer to prayer. Long story short, I have not gone back to work outside of home and I have never been happier. I owe it to Mama and my husband that I’m right in the center of my calling.
I do believe that mama’s presence and nurturing in my life has largely shaped me to be who I am today. I always felt confident and I never had questions on my worth and identity. She made that so clear to me since I was a child. Mama and my auntie, who lived with us, had parenting skills that made me feel special and unique. This upbringing has launched me into heights I could never have reached; heights I hope to launch my children into and beyond.
Although Mama was very sweet, she was also a disciplinarian. She did not hesitate to bestow some discipline upon us when we did wrong, and this has given me the confidence and stamina to discipline my children like she did. I now appreciate her discipline because I see that we, her children are making a positive impact in our generation and it’s all thanks to her. Not following her example would be reinventing the wheel. I am grateful that our children seem to be sane, maybe not by the worldly standards but by Biblical standards. This is the best I know and I have learnt from the best, my hero; my Mama. With God’s help, I will carry this on. As for our dear readers, my encouragement to you is this: Strive to be good role models and to make time for your families, spouses and loved ones. Mothers, let us be present in our children’s lives because if anything ever happened to us, every other person we used to spend all our time with will carry on with their lives, but our children’s lives will never be the same again. I encourage you to take time and reflect on what motherhood means to you.
In closing, I believe that God has trusted us with life so that we can change others’. This life is a test. There is a reason for everything and God is observing our response. However difficult life may get, it’s all about the attitude and our heart posture. This is what will make or break us. Let us stop complaining and actually take time to count our blessings and give thanks to God for what we do have. This life is a trial. No life is perfect. Trials and tribulations come and go, but can we be consistent in the face of inconsistency? Lastly, life is a temporary assignment. All our talents, times, and treasures are not for us to benefit from. Serving brings joy, satisfaction and fulfillment to our lives. As Acts 20:35 says, “…we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus Himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
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